Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
