So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
