so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
