So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
