I seem to have left my pride at pride
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
