operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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