she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
