So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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