I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize