He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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