"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
