pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
