I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
