My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Randomize
