I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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