But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
