I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
