im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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