I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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