the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
