come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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