it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize