Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And then my night got REAL pukey
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
