This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize