Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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