did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
