Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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