Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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