erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
