I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She bit a glass in half.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
