I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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