Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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