so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
