It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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