stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
