he thought i was a dude.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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