dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
