The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
