I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
