They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
