Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
