He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
