Kiss
Puke
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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