he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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