you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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