A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
