Moan for me like Helen Keller
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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