there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
