is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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