my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
