She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
