i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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