so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
