I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
