Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
