you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
