Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
