my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
pray to the hookup gods
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize