Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
