I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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