i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
